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'I think I might be gay?'

'I think I might be gay?'

I remember those words run terrifyingly through my mind. As I was coming to terms with all these suppressed thoughts, feelings and emotions running inside me. I sat in a gay bar, sharing with my closest lesbian friends, what they had been waiting to hear for a very long time: 'I think I might be gay'. As I freaked out on every aspect of this. They just said: 'And so what if you are?'

Then it hits, so what if I am? The single most important question I was asked, as I moved through this transition, this awakening, this truth buried inside myself.

I have since met and worked with many people who have gone through this transition at all different stages of their life. Some younger, some older, some married, engaged. Some in different cultures and religions where its utterly demonised to like the same sex.

Sexuality is a spectrum. Its fluid, it always will be. You could navigate between this spectrum your whole life or only ever stay on one end of the scale. And wherever you flow on that scale is ok, its always ok.

Many people in lockdown have come face to face with their supressed, locked up and caged feelings. Face to face with their inner most truths because they've had nowhere else to go, no other distraction, except you and the thoughts slapped bang in your face. The ones you may have been running from all your life.

If some of those thoughts and feelings are along the lines of 'I think I might be gay?' and you're in a frenzy of I have no idea what to do with that? I can't feel that? It's not right? I'm ashamed? My whole life might change?

Start with: 'And so what if I am?'. And go from there. Truth can be taken step by step, little by little. It doesn't have to burn down the life you know all in one go. And it certainly doesn't have to set alight to your sense of self and self worth. In fact, it can brighten it, enliven it, make you feel more whole.

I've been fluid on that sexuality scale for a long time, so if you or someone you know is out there struggling with acceptance of the most natural parts of themselves. I can help, I'm here. Give them a voice, let them be heard, there's a whole beautiful part of you just waiting to be explored.


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