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'You can love them, but you don't have to like their behaviour.'


'You can love them, but you don't have to like their behaviour.' This has been uttered many times to me from my mentor. And now, as I help guide and coach others, I utter the same to them. Quite often, our nearest and dearest, can do or say things that make your blood boil or cut right to the bone. And quite often, because we love them, we feel we can't feel anger, spite or hate towards them, we even feel guilty for feeling anything remotely bad towards them: 'But I'm supposed to love them' I hear you cry. And I assure you, you do, but that doesn't mean your feelings of outrage can't be felt. It doesn't mean you love them any less. It just means you are being REAL, honest and truthful with yourself. You are honouring your own feelings and giving them a voice. Not stuffing them down like they are shameful and 'wrong' to feel. No FEELING is WRONG. I will repeat, NO feeling is wrong. Every feeling is yours and yours to own. Every feeling is valid, right and true. The shaming of your own feelings needs to stop here. You feel how you feel, whatever you feel and that's O.K. Never let anyone, especially yourself take that away from you. Indeed, I was working with a Breath4Life™ Breath Work client and they were struggling to access their true anger and rage around various 'outrageous' situations and behaviours, due to the guilt of feeling 'badly' towards people they loved. As soon as they allowed themselves to own how they truly felt, they could actually liberate themselves and move forward with their lives. That guilt was holding them hostage, that suppressed anger was stopping their joy, their excitement, their happiness. As soon as they cleared the guilt, they were able to access and feel that red hot rage, which they could transmute into more passion and joy in their everyday lives. This is the power of being real and telling yourself the truth. This is the power of allowing yourself to access your true feelings. This is the power of working with someone safe and trained to help you 'go there'. Because quite often, we have no idea what's 'in there'. And its too terrifying to do it alone. So, if you're sitting there feeling you can't feel, or you shouldn't feel, or that feeling is wrong. If you're wrapped in guilt about feeling anything other than 'niceness' or 'positivity' towards someone. Then get in touch, we can unpick, unpeel and work through this together. Its safe to feel everything, its safe to uncover your suppression's, but its safer to do it with someone who has 'been there', gone into those hidden caves and excavated huge amounts of intense unseen and unfelt emotions. And its safer to do it with someone who has been intensely training, for these very vulnerable moments. Its scary yes, but even that is O.K. to feel; feel it anyway and contact me. I'm there to hold your coveted space.

 

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