Self-sabotage: the part of you that trips you up, holds you back, keeps you small, damages you, hurts others or even harms you. The part that interferes and disrupts everything you've ever wanted and loved.
Ever had those moments where you're really enjoying something and you think this could be that 'thing' that brings me joy, happiness and fulfilment, for it only to suddenly feel numb, worthless and meaningless?
'Oh, I just don't feel it anymore'
'Oh, I just can't be bothered'
'Oh, I just lost interest, don't know why, just got over it'
Where the motivation disappeared, that passion, that drive? What was once all your hopes and dreams, now is a nothingness inside? A mere figment of your imagination. Where only a 'don't care, not bothered' resides?
Well hello self-saboteur, nice to meet you! Shall I put the kettle on? Are you enjoying squeezing the life out of my hopes and dreams? Dulling my passion? Numbing my joy? Turning me to drink my troubles away? Self-harming when it gets too much? Or just procrastinating over what film to watch? Or 'thing' to buy? Are you getting a kick out of my constant self-destruct?
Well yes, I am as it happens dear sir and madam, I'm here to keep you safe, I'm here to keep you small. To not step out into the unknown and see you fall. I'm here to serve and protect and armour you with bullet proof vests. I don't care if its big or small, harms or hurts. I don't care if all your family get hurt. I care about me inside you and what I need to do, to keep you hidden in the dirt. Hidden in the womb inside of me. You may find it perverse, but really I'm here to capture the best parts of you. We don't need to go out there, be uncomfortable, feel too much, do too much, show ourselves. Be big, strong and powerful. We just need to stay here and stay here you must; allow me to stay in control of you.
So... are you going to let it? When you see the mind monster for what it is, what its doing, who it is, are you going to let it destroy, destruct and hinder? Stand in the way of your happiness, your joy, everything and everyone you love? Are you really? Are you really, really??
Feel the need to explore this more, understand it, disempower it, actually make friends with it?
Contact me, we can safely explore these thoughts and behaviours together. They don't have to be hidden in the shadows, controlling your strings anymore...